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If the human race has a "signature move," its gotta be lying to the dentist about flossing.
The cashier at the dollar store told me to have a good day. Like my purchase of shelf liner suggested any other plan.
Edward Cullen is extremely pale due to the lack of light in the closet.
Life rarely hands me anything. Am I in the wrong line?
Oops! I hate when I pour myself a drink and then have 12 more by accident.
Girl: I am not having having s@x with guys at the moment. Boy:I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue
Want the truth? Just ask a kid.
Sometimes words just aren`t enough. And that`s why we have middle fingers.
Yeah he`s still bugging me...he thinks Harass is two words.
Do you ever get up in the morning and look in the mirror and say, "that can`t be right"?
When people have cars as their profile picture I automatically presume they are a transformer.
I was blown away when I realised the word " OK " is a side ways person.
Just heard some guy yell "F**K!" ... I thought this was impressive because not many people can pronounce asterisks.
Ironman and Batman`s only super powers is being super rich and smart really makes Bill Gates a real disappointment.
Born free. Now, Iām expensive.