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good boys go to heaven bad boys go every where
Sometimes words just aren`t enough. And that`s why we have middle fingers.
Hit me with your pet shark #RuinAn80sSong
People are so ungrateful. No one ever thanks me for having the patience not to kill them.
Thank you for showing me your Facebook wedding album. Now if you have time, here is a slideshow of my top 36 scores in Mario Kart
You know you`re old when you come close to shaving your nipple off while trying to shave your legs!
Some people think I`m quiet, others wish I was.
Tried cleaning the house to the A-Team theme and ended up building a tank. So close.
When someone calls you a bitch just say a bitch is a dog, a dog barks, bark is on trees, trees are nature and nature is beautiful. thanks for the compliment ;)
I successfully cleared a path from the front door to the TV. Now I can watch Hoarders.
It`s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people`s heads.
I`ll be busy tonight taking my girlfriend out to dinner and then having sex all night. Is what I`d be saying if I had money ... or a girlfriend
if your dirty, your dirty... you cant fix it
I get my: Cereal from a tiger, Insurance from a gecko, Toilet paper from a bear, Financial advice from a gorilla. It`s people I don`t trust.
Did you know that if we laid all the facebook account owners end to end around the world. Three quarters of them would Drown? Hmm ....