Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If my superpower was to be able to stop time, I`d totally use it to take a nap without people noticing.
I`m proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don`t want to hang out with you now but I`m still proud...
I thought white noise was the sound of people complaining at Starbucks.
If women really knew what men think, there would be restraining orders on all men.
Here`s to ignoring our real problems and getting outraged about something on the internet.
The bears had it right choosing to hibernate all winter.
Just dropped off some film to be processed. More on this story as it develops.
If you’re that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
My husband picks fights with me like he doesn`t even value half of all his assets.
Apparently telling the airline stewardess that airplane food is "da bomb dat hijacked my tastebuds" is not considered a compliment......
People who argue on their cell phones in public should have to do it on speakerphone so the rest of us can get both sides.
I just don`t think a partridge in a pear tree would make a great gift
Pretty sure I know what my wife`s getting me for my birthday cause when I guessed, "A 3-way?" she got all angry like I ruined the surprise.
The only time that my wife screams my name in bed is when I fart in my sleep.
Apparently my "Please STFU" face bears a strong resemblance to my "Oh, Please Keep Talking" face.