Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
When I`m home alone, every noise I hear is a serial killer
When i am bored, i like parking along side the xpressway stick a hair dryer out the window, and watch everyone slam on their brakes.
If I ran NASA, it would be mandatory for the ground crew to be dressed as apes when the space shuttle lands.
I think the guy who invented the word kumquats should have gotten to name more stuff!
Royal baby was born at 8 pounds. Thats like 12 dollars.
I hear voices ... and they don`t like you.
A tattoo doesn’t tell you very much about a person, but where they put the tattoo does.
I finally got some medication for my Attention Deficit Disorder. Now if I could just remember the name of it and where I left it at.
My friends are weird. They keep vegetables in their beer crisper. Freaks
First, Ray Rice. Now, Adrian Peterson. The prison football league is going to be off the chain this year.
Christmas is truly a magical time. It`s made all my money disappear!
Clearly skinny jeans are easier to obtain than skinny genes
The last time I was someone`s type, I was donating blood.
"it`s the thought that counts" doesn`t include showering. You have to actually do that.