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When in doubt, just do the opposite of whatever the person wearing pajamas in public is doing.
I bet now a lot of doctors are going to be reluctant to respond to “Is there a doctor on the plane?”
is easily distracted by shiny objects.
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: To propagate authoritarianism and generate revenue for the state? Cop: ...
Seems like we would be just fine with about half as many types of pasta
I sent that "Ancestry " site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over
How does Ice-T order an Iced Tea without sounding like a douche?
My ex got run down by a bus today. I thought "Wow, that could have been me!" but I can`t drive a bus.
Why,does facebook want to make the likes one gets on their status like a story,like:peter and 500 others like this,click and see james and 499 others like this............
Fast way to mess up someones Knock Knock joke? "It`s open."
I haven`t talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn`t want to interrupt her.
Dear Life, Please, use a Lubricant.
If your having a bad day, remember that somewhere on this big planet, someone just lost their straw in a capri sun!!
Hold on I`m about to count my money. Alright I`m done.
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on?