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For a minute there, I thought I had just wasted 60 seconds...
My 14 year old sent a text asking me to pick her up from school and added "not in your pajamas". So I`m wearing hers because good moms listen.
My most frequent walk of shame is from one bathroom to the other with the plunger
Fun thing to do: Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on peoples cars saying "sorry for the damage" and watch them look for it
I drink because people talk.
Let`s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.
I have two moods: sleep is for the weak and sleeping for a week.
Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.
You know what`s the best part about waking up early? Nothing, it sucks!
All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.
My iPhone has 2 million times the storage of the 1969 Apollo 11 spacecraft computer. They went to the moon. I text a lot.
It`s never going to work out between Mario and the Princess. Most of the time she`s on a whole other level.
Yes, that`s correct. And the horse you rode in on.
I got a new high score today ... Sadly, it was on my bathroom scale
How many exercise/workout videos does a person have to buy before seeing results?