Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
The best thing about not being with you, is not being with you.
No, I would not like to know what fruit my body is shaped like.
Yes, milk from cows tastes nice. But to the person that first found that out...you have issues bro
Adding "just sayin" to a smart-a$$ed comment makes you even more of an a$$hole. Just sayin
Why do they ask you "Please press 1 for English, then put you with someone who`s accent is so thick you can`t understand them?
The scariest US president was Rushmore, because he had 4 heads
This salad tastes like I`m about done with my New Year`s Resolution.
National no bra day wasn`t as successful as the creators had hoped. due to sagging attendants and lack of support.
Life…it’s just an “F” in lie.
“I’m not washing it, I’m just gonna shove it in a pony.” If you’re a girl, that sentence is actually ok.
I feel like I`ve passed my "Best If Used By date."
Donald Duck, saying screw you to pants since 1934.
When I go into a bar I shout out "YOU CHEATING WHORE!" Whoever turns around is who I`m buying drinks for.
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said "too ugly to prostitute."