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Say what you want about Kim and Kanye naming their daughter North West. That kid is headed straight to the top. And slightly to the left.
I`ve been told my posts are too depressing but what does it matter. We`ll all be dead soon anyway.
I`m not saying you`re a slut but you`re dirtier than my browser history.
Mario Bros. Plumbing ????? (69 Reviews) Hired them to clear my drain, stomped my turtle to death and ran off with my girlfriend.
Men are like lottery tickets. Very exciting at first, until you scratch away the surface to reveal the loser beneath.
I go on dates just to remind myself that being single is awesome.
My doctor told me, "DON`T mix this medicine with alcohol or you could wake up somewhere naked with a monkey on your arm." CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
Be nice to nerds. You`ll probably be working for them one day
What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi.
Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
The best part about living by myself is not having to explain why I fell asleep on the kitchen counter… naked… again.
Before I stalk someone, I follow them around for a while...Cause you know, what if they`re not worth it?
Rich people have rehab. Poor people have jail.
What do horses eat? Hay. What do gay horses eat? Haaaayyyy!