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I just passed the local college and saw 3 very fit young ladies with very tight yoga pants walking to class...I have never been so motivated to return to college.
"The more the merrier!" usually means "oh, you overheard us making those plans, huh?"
Why don`t prison inmates just use liquid soap?
Why do they play this music on the elevators if we`re not suppose to slow dance.
It`s Friday! High-five some sh!t!
The only thing I hate about beer is that there`s absolutely nothing I hate about beer... :)
In-laws the reason why I`d never get married..
If ignorance really was bliss we`d have a lot more really happy people around here.
"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-
Screw getting an alarm system. I`ve seen Home Alone, I know what to do.
If I didn`t procrastinate, I probably wouldn`t do anything at all.
thumbs up if you pee on the side of the toilet to make it quiet.
When reality kicks in… add more booze.
Dear whoever is playing sweet child o` mine at 2:30 in the night at full blaring volume to disturb the whole neighborhood......NICE!
Being in the friend zone is like being the guy in the band who plays that little triangle.