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On my tombstone I want it to say: ‘I didn’t forward the text message to 15 friends.” ;)
Saying an actors performance was unbelievable is actually an insult.
A dog running a hundred miles to retrieve a stick? That`s pretty far-fetched.
If you think you hate me now, wait till I start answering your rhetorical questions.
Million dollar idea: Pills that you can take with alcohol.
If your wife has 2 phones, save both numbers under one name : “Wife” Never save them as "Wife1" and “Wife2" ~ a husband from the hospital
Just saw Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter... So that`s how it happened! I knew what I learned in history class was a bunch of crap!
You might be a REDNECK if you think S.T.O.P. means spin tires on pavement!! :)) lol
Had a pizza today without extra cheese. Dieting is hard
The ideal man doesn`t smoke, doesn`t drink, doesn`t do drugs, doesn`t swear, doesn`t get angry, doesn`t exist
No one ever reads the rules of Monopoly unless an argument breaks out.
Stop calling them rednecks. The term is NASCAR-Americans. Y`all.
I wish I could understand what women with big boobs are saying.
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn`t come back, what you`ve lost is a normal pigeon.
can´t find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?