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Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Im pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
I have short term memory. I also like to fish. Also, I have short term memory.
Sex with human, ok. Sex with cow, not ok. Grabbing cow titty, ok. Grabbing Karen in accounting`s titty, not ok. Apparently.
Wish my girlfriend was awake, could really do with a sandwich right now.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself; everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth that it brings.
I just saw a 2 or 3yr old boy wearing a t-shirt that says, "if mom or dad wont buy it I`ll just sms grandma and grandpa"
I want it all and I want it delivered.
Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy.
According to WebMD, MedicineNet, Healthline, Mayo Clinic, Symptom Checker, NetDoctor, MedlinePlus, Johns Hopkins and InfoMedNet, I`m OCD.
According to serving sizes tonight, I`m a family of 4.
Check this one out.........1
Apparently, my wife has friend zoned me...
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait....
I`m Outdoorsy, as in I like to get drunk and pass out in the yard....
Sometimes you just see a post and think, "Yup it`s your own fault."