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If anyone asks, I`m drinking all this wine to collect corks for a pinterest project.
I prefer to be crazy and happy rather than normal and bitter......
I found $40 in my jeans. The kid in me says "Buy dart guns and candy", but the adult in me says "Buy vodka, dart guns and candy".
Why do sandwiches taste so much better when they are cut diagonally?
I know I should lift weights, but those things are heavy!!
Marriage. The world`s oldest form of identity theft.
I hope when I die, it`s early in the morning so I don`t go to work that day for no reason.
It`s never good when Human Resources sends you an email and the subject line is "Your Facebook Activity".
I like to jump onto people`s backs as an unexpected piggy back. but sometimes I get carried away
I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE
I just called to get my credit score and I heard laughing in the background. Sounds like a cool place to work.
Depresso; the feeling you get when you’ve run out of coffee.
I always get this dream where I`m driving in reverse ...Then I wake up and see that I`m driving normally.
Marriage teaches you forgiveness, compromise and tons of other things you wouldn`t need if you`d stayed single.