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I just made you think of an elephant
What idiot called it "best man" instead of "lord of the rings"
I`ve come to believe that everyone on Earth could benefit from a 12 step program.
I spent 2 hours cleaning this kitchen. Mess it up and I will cut you! ... Love MOM
Iām the king of balancing more trash on top of an already full trash can.
Single women come home, see what`s in the fridge and go to bed...while married women come home see what`s in the bed and go to the fridge.
What do people mean "get ready for bed"? I am ALWAYS ready for bed.
My boys cleaned out my car and now my change is missing. Little do they know, it costs exactly $3.63 to turn our wifi back on.
"The more the merrier": My excuse for extra food.
You`re single? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Yea me too.
I`ve never been a fan of multi-tasking or quite frankly regular tasking.
I don`t need your advice. I do a great job of screwing up my life all by myself, thank you!
I`m fairly certain that kids only have ears for decorative purposes.
I`ve done it in the bathroom, I`ve done it in the bedroom, I`ve done it in the kitchen, on the couch, outside, in the bus, yoo I just can`t seem to stop this texting.:)
"Because it would be hilarious,"... is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be president.