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Love your neighbor ... but don`t get caught.
Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days
The real trouble with reality is that there´s no background music
There’s a bald spot in my yard so I’m gonna let the grass around it grow really long and then do a comb-over.
I`m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You`re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what`s going on here.
I bought my Ex a chair ... But the state won`t let me plug it in.
Today I met one of those people on the bus that gets all pissed off when you put your finger in their mouth when they yawn.
I don`t think the lady who just shushed a baby in the library knows how babies work
U still drunk from last night or did u get a new buzz going this morning.
I think the Worst Part about admitting you are an Alcoholic ..is People expect you to Quit Drinking.
Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant - you can only hide it for so long.
Just found my TV remote and a newspaper in my fridge. It`s pretty awesome that society lets me live by myself.
"I" before "E" except after "Old MacDonald had a farm"
My posts come from a dark place.. I haven`t paid my light bill in 3 months.
It’s not what you wear; it’s how you take it off.