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That urge you get to write, "No one cares" on someone`s status.
I’m single by choice. Not my choice, but still a choice!
I am sick of people thinking deodorant is optional.
This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it`s contagious.
If I could have dinner with anyone alive or dead I would just have two dinners.
You said you wanted my advice, but I see you haven’t f*cked off or died yet.
My predictive text dictionary doesn’t have “tsunami”, so if you ever get a text from me that says “trumang” start running.
Any woman can make you a Millionaire.. You only have to be a Billionaire first.
Can you find the the mistake? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Click Funny if you did..
If you love someone, let them go, if they don`t come back..... Set them on fire *evil grin*
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore
Money went much further in the 1980s when you could peel the price stickers off milk cartons and stick them on anything you needed
Please ignore this status, I am standing alone and I don`t want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am texting
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
Occasionally, I like to take a look through my old status updates and smile at my sparkling wit.