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If the Terminator was female the line would have been, “I might be back, I haven’t decided yet.”
The perfect time for a snack is while you’re waiting for another snack to finish cooking.
What`s worse to have stuck in your head; a knife or All About That Bass?
Calling someone a drama queen is so negative. Why not "content creator"?
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I`m part of the other 3%.
When I die, I want a cellphone in my coffin…just in case.
Why does using a straw make it so much harder to admit there’s no more soda?
A panda never pays his bills, because he eats shoots and leaves!!!
One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.
Being an American is awesome. The end.
Save water, shower together.
BOOK FACT: If you took every book at Barnes and Noble and laid them end to end you get thrown out by security and banned from returning.
People ask me why I don`t have tattoos. Seriously, would you put a bumper sticker on a Lambourghini?
There are 10 types of people in the world, Those that understand binary, and those who don`t.
I get more cleaning done in the ten minutes before someone comes over than I do in a week.