Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This time change has me all messed up. Driving with my hands at 11 and 3 is hard
Avoid parking tickets by leaving your wipers on high.
liked homework better when it was called coloring.
I hope the meteorite crash in Russia doesn`t affect the price of Vodka!
You can’t choose your family, but you can ignore their phone calls.
Settle down joggers at red lights, settle down.
I`m just going to start wearing a shirt to work that says "I`m good, thanks for asking."
You think seven years is bad for breaking a mirror? Try breaking a condom.
My parents weren`t exercising all of those nights.
The number of things that are *NOT* rocket science is staggering.
The same people that made fun of me for my calculator watch in high school are now wearing Apple watches.
people say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but it`s the only way I can talk to you.
Question everything...Or should you?
Being an adult is mostly just wondering if the stuff in the dishwasher is dirty or clean while eating soup out of a sand castle bucket.
I think germs are so nice for waiting 5 seconds before attacking food that falls on the floor.