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My wife said we should try some role reversal in bed last night. So I said I had a headache.
Fun things to do in Walmart: Take the ``try me`` stickers off of the toys & place them on condom boxes.
I heard an ex got run down by a bus today. I thought "Wow, that could have been me!" But then, I can`t drive a bus..
Don`t half a$$ anything. F*ck it up all the way.
I`m ashamed of what I did for a Klondike bar.
The olympics is the only time when you hear "Great execution by North Korea" and it seems okay.
is available for rebound sex.
I watch so many crime shows on Tv, that when I turn off the Tv set, I wipe my fingerprints 0ff the remote.
My dentist just told me I need a crown..... I know, right??
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
Life is tough. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it like the rest of us.
I`d hit that. - women drivers
If da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"
on a scale of 1-10 how honest are you? I would say 10 but then i would be lying!
Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.