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Note to Denver Broncos: Marijuana is NOT a performance enhancing drug!
FYI : My post aren`t directed at anyone in particular...so should anyone be offended by them, I say if the shoe fits ... Wear It!!!!!
The hardest part of the job interview is knowing the best moment to lean in for the kiss.
Stall Cleaning service, Satisfaction guaranteed or 100% or you manure back!
I just found handcuffs, a whip and a mask in my girlfriend’s bedroom. I can’t believe she’s a super hero.
Ever seen a person so disgusting you hold your breath when you walk by them? Yea I have.
Of all the lies I tell, "I was just kidding!" is my favorite.
How do I tell a man he loves me?
I didn’t scream out someone else’s name during sex. I was thinking of baby names in case you get pregnant…
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Really disappointed to find out after laser eye surgery I am unable to burn down buildings
You ever wonder why wearing no underwear is called “going commando”? It seems to me it wouldn’t be useful in a combat situation.
Some people are grateful for the impact you made in their life…. It’s not me, I think you’re a pr!ck.
My stove top knob reads, LO | 2 | 4 | 6 | 8 | 10 | HI......so what is Med-High, Medium Low?...They just need to lay it out for me in numbers! Like "set stove top to 8." no wait, 9.? Food manufacturerers and stove manufactuerers need to get toghether on this! So let me see,..... (me thinking)....if ten is high...5 is medium that means 7.5..... WAIT!.....low would be 0 so HI would be 12???....WTF!!! forget about simmer!........HEY KIDS! WHO WANTS PIZZA!
Why eat a carrot when you can just as easily not eat a carrot?