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I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I hit a cyclist....
Behind every strong woman is a man that she needs to open jars and get things off high shelves.
Four out of five voices in my head are saying this is gonna´ be a great day.
So glad my face doesn’t have a progress bar that shows how much I’m understanding what other people are saying.
Today I met one of those people on the bus that gets all pissed off when you put your finger in their mouth when they yawn.
If you ain`t laughin, you ain`t livin!
Not to get technical… but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.
I ordered some bubble wrap online. It arrived in a box surrounded by packing peanuts.
If he uses an iPhone 5 in Taken 3 he`s going to be spending half the movie charging it.
You are right when you realize you were wrong.
Long story short, I love summaries
roes are red violets are blue he`s for me not for you if for any chance you`ll take my place i`ll use my fist and smash your face
You can only push me so far before I breakdance.
You find it offensive?... I find it funny.... That`s why I`m happier than you
When a woman asks you for your opinion all she really wants to hear is her opinion repeated word for word but in your voice.