Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Mother mosquito: Hey kiddo, how was your first flight? kid mosquito: Great mom! Everyone was clapping for me.
I wrote you this love poem: Here, just take my credit card.
I`m a wealth of knowledge ... Unless you want it to be true, then I`m pretty solid on about 6 topics ... 2 of those might just be Doritos flavors
I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach for the cookies.
So far my Christmas shopping has involved buying myself presents, so I`d say it`s been a success.
why hello there stalker! Enjoying my profile?(=
That awkward moment when the automatic flushing toilet goes off when you`re still sitting down.
Monopoly: Destroying friendships since 1904
you have lips ….. i have lips …… interesting
To the person who stole my antidepressants..I hope you`re happy now!!!
I need to get out of bed and do something so I can justify taking a nap later.
The Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
I`m sorry. Putting up with your sh!t isn`t on my To-Do list today.
Just because I`m nodding my head at appropriate times while you`re talking doesn`t mean I give a sh!t about what you`re saying..