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Somehow, we`ve got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
I get you, anti-evolution people. I`m too lazy to learn science too.
I bet you 20 dollas I`m broke
I wonder who the first person was to look at a beehive and think, "those bastards are hiding something delicious in there, I know it!"
I got the girl to hysterically laugh today just by asking her out for a date.
Men think they have it bad, but they`re not the ones having to hold their boobs when they run.
If your friends can accurately guess your age, you need to find dumber friends.
Nothing good goes into a microwave at 2:00am.
Burned almost a thousand calories with the elliptical machine today. Moved it into the basement, that thing is heavy!
The only reason I keep my land line is for the eventuality that this is The Matrix.
You know a guy likes you when his pants give you a thumbs up ;)
roses are red, violets are blue, god made everyone beautiful, what the hell happened to you?
If banks were as fiercely regulated as McDonalds breakfast cut off time, there’d be no problems.
Some people come into your life as blessings, others come into your life as lessons.