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I don`t care about your status...
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald`s stops serving breakfast.
I`ve considered changing career paths and becoming a demolitions expert, but then I hear the education may cost me an arm and a leg.
If I saw a ghost, I would not be scared. I`d be like "Sit your translucent a$$ down, I have a lot of questions!"
My smoke detectors are always cheering me on for being such a great cook.
Forget resolutions, Imma just say from now on... TGIS "Thank God I Survived" ! :)
they say winning doesnt matter then why they had kept scores
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
Geez....Why do they only make hand creams that smell feminine? Why can`t they they make one with a masculine scent? Something like Doritos or WD-40?
Secretly replaced the bacon with beggin` strips. Let`s see if the customers notice.
How many instruments do you have to be terrible at before you start playing the triangle?
-buys lottery ticket -fantasizes about winning the lottery -smiles -loses lottery -resumes general hatred for life
On a scale from 0 to insane I`m batman
If "Cops" has taught me anything it`s to stay away from people with blurry faces, they`re nothing but trouble...
Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen