Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Still not 100% clear on whether French Montana is a person or a steakhouse special.
Receptionist: "The doctor will see you now." Invisible Man: "Finally, a cure!"
One man`s sarcastic answer, is another man`s stupid question
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin.
I`ve been building my own particle accelerator. Plan to create a boson particle. Explore the mysteries.....you know what? This is a lot of work. Think I`m just going to have a beer and play Call of Duty.
Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
I told everyone at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I won`t have to talk to them.
is spending my children´s inheritance.
You look like I need another drink
My friends had a surprise party for me last night, well I called it a surprise party they called it an intervention.
If looks could kill, mirrors would be the leading cause of death among ugly people
"With a stroke of a pen your name can live on forever in a quote!... Unknown,
My alarm clock is clearly jelouse of my amazing relationship with my bed.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at him.
Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me...