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"I like tube tops too, but even tires have pressure limits!
Sometimes, I drink a glass of water, just to surprise my liver!
I tried stuff once. It was horrible.
Ya know those scenes where the guy shoves everything off the table and throws a woman on it yeah I`ve only done that with pizza
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing & they live for 150 years. Lesson learned
I`m undecided about which pants to wear today...Smarty of Fancy?
What if Oxygen makes our voice really deep…. And Helium just brings it back to normal?
That first kiss in the morning is so special, and the dog enjoys it too.
Girl scout cookies suck! I ate like 20 boxes of thin mints and I`m not any thinner.
I always wanted to buy a Parrot and teach it to say, "Help, they`ve turned me into a parrot!"
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole....
I don`t hate you, but I hope you fall in love and get married.
It takes me like three days to wake up in the morning.
I pretty much spend all day, every day, just looking forward to going back to sleep.