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I am currently unsupervised ... I know, it freaks me out too. But the possibilities are endless!
What if every time a song pops into your head, it’s really just your brain intercepting one of the bajillion radio signals bouncing around you?
Hating everything saves countless hours of decision making.
This beer tastes like future mistakes.
Have you noticed that it`s only the married squirrels that hurl themselves in front of your car......
Remember, pretty much all of the “tough guys” you see on TV and movies were theater majors in college.
Dear life, I`ve had enough bullsh!t to last a while. Can we take a little break please.
Personality is 40% genetics, 40% upbringing, and 20% the last movie you watched.
Question: : What do you get if you add human DNA to a goat? ... Answer: Kicked out of the petting zoo
During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.
hates when I´m singing along with the radio and the artist messes up the words!
Life gets expensive when you trust a woman that`s cute.
Half a dozen: because “six” is way to long.
It`s spooky how many kids look like their owners.
I smile because your my daughter. I laugh because there`s nothing you can do about it. ;)