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You guys ever trip out on the fact that Indian people eat Indian food for breakfast?
How to fall down stairs: Step 1 Step 6 Step 7,8,9,11
I’m mad, but not as mad as someone asking to see the rules in the middle of a monopoly game.
I used to care what you thought of me, then I remembered what I thought of you.
Hearing jokes is always 100 times funnier when you have water in your mouth.
Drake isn`t even a rapper anymore. He`s an emotion, like "how are you doing today?" "idk im feeling kinda drake though"
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
Is it so much to ask that everyone who ever wronged me be forced to leave the country and change their identity?
A guy knocked on my door asking for a small donation for the local pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
College is the only time in which being poor and drunk is acceptable.
So I wanted to publicly apologize for not doing the ice bucket challenge for everyone that nominated me. I don`t give money to charity, unless she is on stage B at 11:30.
If at first you don’t succeed, you shouldn’t diffuse bombs.
Are oranges named orange because they’re orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?
I`ll be busy tonight taking my girlfriend out to dinner and then having sex all night. Is what I`d be saying if I had money ... or a girlfriend
My favorite part of The Notebook is when I turned it off and watched Terminator 3 instead.