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While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald’s stops serving breakfast.
Every woman is beautiful in her own unique way. Sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.
I gotta ask you a sirius question....do you know the muffen man
Relieved to finally get a new microchipped debit card that provides added security to protect the $13.68 in my checking account.
Insomnia causes questionable browser history.
I hate it when I mean to buy seedless grapes but instead I accidentally get...well you know...Oreos.
I wish the guy who made the vacuum cord would chat with the guys that make phone chargers.
As an adult, I’m not eating nearly as much ice cream as 10 year old me thought I would.
Just how hairy was the dude who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?
Rap Music is like Scissors…It always loses to Rock.
I say if you can`t come up with anything nice to say then post it on Facebook.
Remember when you were a kid and all you would use the computer for was paint and space pinball?
A lifetime of fire drills has prepared me to completely ignore the alarm during a real fire.
It’s sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his crappy ACME gadgets, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels.
Yawning is the body`s way of saying `10% Battery Remaining`.