Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Look, if your cart is in the middle of the aisle and I need to get by, then yes, this is bumper cars.
No matter how little I do in a day. I always feel like I could have done less.
FB friends, no one gives a ratsass what concerts you went to...
Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?
I`m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off a bunch of sh!t all at the same time.
Come on. Let`s all go and be happy in front of some miserable people
People pay to sponsor animals in the wild and get pic updates on it. Well if anyone would like to sponsor me I will send you a selfie a day.
The only complaint I have about being married is being married.
Understanding women number 476,395: Women like to talk about their feelings.
boss: why are you peeing on the floor? mikeski: i already filled up your coffee cup.
Happy Halloween… may all of your skeletons stay in the closet where they belong!
It`s hard to trust people. Even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
I wish tanning beds could pop you out like a toaster when you`re finished.
I`ll CUT you...!!!!!!!!...... A slice of pizza, cause I`m a sharer:)
DOCTORS WRITING: "?? ?? ??." HOW I SEE IT: "?????." HOW THE PHARMACIST SEES IT: "Aspirin."