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Running on two hours of sleep I’m either way too happy or violently homicidal.
Good thing all the `Five and Ten` stores closed... They were nickle and diming us to death.
Why do they ask you "Please press 1 for English, then put you with someone who`s accent is so thick you can`t understand them?
If you are stalking me, please keep up, I have a lot of errands today.
Please drink responsibly this weekend and don`t drink and dri......Wait this is Facebook, most of you probably won`t leave the house! ... Good talk!
Seven years ago today I swallowed bubblegum ... I`ll keep you all posted.
Why can’t I lose weight easily I mean I lose everything else without a problem.
Turtles make an awesome jogging buddy.
Speed bumps can turn into speed ramps depending on who`s car I`m borrowing.
Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs
Lower your expectations and I will totally amaze you.
I`m really sick of responsibility ... and underwear
So... Where does one obtain minions?
I`m in no shape to exercise patience!
Hillary Clinton is running for president. In other news, grass is green and the sun is hot.