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Coffee – because most people frown on alcohol first thing in the morning.
If you are offended by the things I post on FB you can only imagine the ones I don`t post.
Stop everything you’re doing. Think about me. You’re welcome.
Delete cookies? Why on Earth would I want to do that?! I LOVE COOKIES
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
If advertisers were smart, they`d make a silent, slow-motion commercial that runs at normal speed when you fast forward through it on a DVR.
If you are having anxiety over something you`ve said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like.
If no one from the future comes back to stop you, is it really that bad of an idea?
When a movie says "Based on a true story." it means this is sort of what happened but with way uglier people.
You think I’m mean? If only you knew what I say in my head.
I like wearing glasses because I like to dramatically remove them before I say something profound. Doing that with contacts doesn`t have the same effect.
If you´re cooler than me, doesnt that make me hotter than you?
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as “that weird thing I did for a while.”
Do a little dance... Drink a lot of rum... Fall down tonight...
I just wanna find a girl who loves me for my money. That way I wouldn`t feel bad for loving her for her body.