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Stop bitchin about the frigid winter snow. There are kids in Africa who don`t even HAVE weather!
I wonder how long I can keep "eating for two" before people notice I`m not actually pregnant.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you are stupid and make bad decisions.
Ever notice how the automatic flush sensors in public restrooms kinda look like hidden cameras?
You`d think the nerds on The Big Bang could fix that stupid elevator.
What`s it called when it`s 9:20am and you can`t wait for dinner? Oh, it`s called fat. Nevermind.
Are the ATF and border patrols also shutdown? Asking for a Mexican friend....
So you think you can study with your facebook activated? That`s cute! ^.^
People who walk down the escalator. Stop it, we have enough over achievers!
According to my nipples, there is a 99% chance it`s cold as hell right now!
If someone says you`re not a mermaid, don`t talk to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity in your life.
I was called sexist today. So..i said i think ur mistaken...its pronounced sexy! LOL
I`m no cactus expert, but I know a pr!ck when I see one
Facebook: Cause why drunk dial one person when you can drunk post the world?
I liked Hoarders much better when it was called Sanford & Son.