Daily Silly Status

GF: Does this dress make my a$$ look big? BF: Nope Your A$$ makes the dress look big.

I want rich people problems. Like where to park my yacht.

I hope I never get to the age when my body can forecast the weather.

Let`s go to my place and do the things I`ll tell everyone we did anyway.

I`ve found that the things I`m most interested in aren`t really in my best interest.

Stress balls work best when you shove them down somebody`s throat.

When I was a child I dreamed of being an old west cowboy. When I grew up I realized they didn`t have toilet paper with aloe.

I only use elevators for one thing. Surprise group hugs

I would just like to personal thank all the people in my life that have caused me so many problems, for making me the as$ I am today!

I swear I saw a guy earlier today that had no chin and all I could think about was, how does he put on pillow cases?

For the record "Wanna do it?" is not foreplay....

Maybe this comment wont be important for you guys here. Some of you will ignore it, most of yall wont bother to read and it`ll go unnoticed along with some others. maybe I`ll be criticized for this but I just want to let yall know I`m selling potatoes

Darn right I’m good in bed. ...I can sleep for days.

I`ve run out of things to be upset about. I hope Justin Bieber has kids soon.

Disneyland. The world’s biggest people trap, built by a mouse.