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Great idea for an April Fools Prank ... Hide all of the desktop icons on someone`s computer and replace their wallpaper with a screenshot of their old desktop.
if the shoe fits wear it , if it too tight take it off
Doctor said only clear liquids before surgery. Vodka qualifies right?
I`ll be drinking tell I see Leprechauns tonight.
You find my yoga pants distracting ... would you like me to take them off?
My body is made up of 90% water, 5% pizza and 5% wine.
What does envelope 1 of 3 on my credit card bill mean?
If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail
Mirrors don’t lie. And, lucky for me, they don’t laugh either.
I live for those really small but special moments in life, like when I see the waiter bringing my food to the table.
Sometimes, I don`t know how I`m going to get through the day. Then I remember: I have beers waiting for me at home. I can do this for them
I wish all videos of people twerking ended with them catching on fire.
Screw you, little sticker on fruit!
Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
People who weigh their produce. What`s it like to have all the time in the world?