Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing like responsibility to ruin a perfectly good day.
someone took my mood ring away... dont know how i feel about it
Ha = I didn`t find that funny. Haha = That was funny. Hahahahaha = I want to sleep with you.
Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars.
When a woman says "what?" its not because she didn`t hear you. She`s giving you a chance to change what you just said.
If its true we`re here to help others, then what exaclty are the others here for?
I know it’s “cool” to make fun of celebrities, but the Bieber jokes need to stop. That’s somebody’s daughter.
Wife: give me money I want to buy a bra. Husband: you`ve got nothing to put in them. Wife: you wear shorts
Can you imagine how sexy I`d be if I ate right and took care of my body... I`m not going to, but can you imagine
A small child called 911 upon seeing a zebra because he thought a horse escaped from jail
So who wants to tell the person who just threw a new phone book on my porch about the internet?
Your so old, you knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Just ruined $387 worth of blinds in the house, but that fly is dead.
I just quit my job at the helium bottling plant. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone!
How easily you`re offended is directly proportional to how dumb you are.