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It`s all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship`s kitchen.
Let´s drink tequila till you don´t remember what I suggest next..
Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
WARNING:: going to bed on Sunday will cause Monday.
I have no idea who is gonna die first in this movie, because everyone is white.
I put a pair of boots in the bathroom stall at work so nobody else will use the stall that I like to use.
Sure, I was walking home from the bar drunk, but I wasn`t even stumbling. My guess is, the cops just had it in for naked people.
My Ex texted me."please delete my number."I replied,"Who`s this??"
If you don`t know me by now....I`m a really good stalker.
Jack and Jill Went up the hill To have a little fun. Jill, the dill, Forgot her pill, And now they have a son.
Any guy can seem cool on a motorcycle. If you really want to know what kind of man you`ve got, watch him walk through a spider web.
If you people knew how expensive, time consuming and hard this stalking stuff is you wouldn`t freak out every time you see me in your bushes.....geesh
I have tonight off so if anyone’s free let’s go somewhere and look at our phones together.
United Airlines was just voted number one in Chinese takeout!
Today I caught myself smiling… I was thinking of you… Don’t flatter yourself though, it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.