Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My salad pic. got more likes than your selfie.
The ‘poke’ button on Facebook should be replaced with a ‘slap’ button.
honestly I`ve never seen a tombstone that read "died from not forwarding a text to 10 people"
Helpful Tip: Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
Basketball would be a lot more exciting if each team was allowed one bear.
I`m not drunk ... But I`m working on it.
Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.
Even though I`m only 29, I know I`m going to die a bitter, lonely, miserable old man ... I`m married.
Smiling gives you wrinkles. Resting bitch face keeps you pretty.
My bank lets me send a text message and it will text back with my balance. Its a cool feature but I didn`t think the LOL was necessary.
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service.
I like to walk up to strangers and ask, "Would you take a photo of me?" If they say yes I hand them a photo of me and walk away.
You`re only young once but you can be immature forever!
People that do stuff- what’s your secret?
If you think husbands aren`t good listeners, whisper "Come here, I`m naked" from anywhere in the house and see what happens.