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No matter how many lasagna’s you stack on top of each other, ultimately it’s always just one lasagna
I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
If anyone could read my mind I`m pretty sure they`d be traumatized for life.
My ex-girlfriend said she broke up with me because I was childish and immature. I think it`s because she`s a big dumb stinkyhead that`s jealous of my awesome Transformers collection.
Is that a selfie or did you just photobomb a picture of your filthy bathroom?
I totally love and fully respect that you`re a little bit slutty
Pringles cans should have a twist mechanism like stick deodorant.
Is it just me or doesn`t anyone disappear in the Bermuda triangle anymore?
I hate waiting in lines. I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose – your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don’t have!
Next time you see someone you don`t like, begin conversation with "I see the assassins have failed."
Apparently, when people say "I could use a hand" it doesn`t mean they want to get slapped in the face.
The best part about being an adult is, nobody can tell you, you can`t have ice cream for breakfast.
A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.