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The real reason I`m not a superhero.... Pockets, I need my pockets.
Nothing good has ever come from answering a call from a blocked phone number.
I don`t know about you . But everytime I go on Twitter , I get this weird feeling , I am being followed.
Hello customer service, I ate two happy meals and Iβm still not happy
The best part about a vacation to England is that my wife won`t need to adjust her driving.
Itβs a good thing the fate of mankind doesnβt depend on me turning on the correct stove-top burner on my first try.
Breakfast in bed probably means you are dating someone. Dinner in bed means you`re probably single.
The word bed looks like a bed.
Without facebook: more sleep, less drama, and a life!
This week is the 40th anniversary of the Rubik`s Cube. If you kids don`t know what a Rubik`s Cube is, it`s what people would stare at without human interaction before cellphones. Mel
When I was a kid, I wanted to be an adult. So yeah...kids are stupid.
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together.
Some Facebook friends are like ghost you dont see them but you know their there
Whatever doesnβt kill me makes me all like, βWhoa! That was close!β
Next time I`m on an elevator with four or more strangers, I`m going to turn around and say, "I`m sure you`re wondering why I`ve gathered you all here."