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What´s the difference between light and hard? You can go to bed with a light on.
It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
I`m always surprised when heavily tattooed couples have a baby and it comes out blank
All this time I thought PTA stood for Parents to Avoid
Where does Peter Pan have his lunch? At Wendy`s.
Is everything expensive or am I just poor?
Joggers always give each other a little nod when they pass, just like fat guys in a buffet line.
If I ever sound inspriational, one of us is drunk.
The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30.
If you can’t be a good example, then you’l just have to serve as a horrible warning
Well I made it through the day without beating anyone with a chair. I`d say my people skills are improving.
A naughty thought is a terrible thing to waste
In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn`t move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not move and does, use the duct tape
What idiot called it the "Happy Birthday" song instead of New Age music
Shouldn`t old people drive faster than everyone else since they have less time left to waste?