Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
To all the people who think they don`t need deodorant: What in the world would make you think that?
You look over-medicated. What`s your doctor`s name?
The best thing about falling down when you`re home alone is that you can just lie on the floor and take a nap.
Of course you don’t think you’re ignorant! That’s the definition of ignorance!
Breaking News: I took a bath today
You have your whole life to be an a$$hole...are you trying to use it all up in one day?
If you ever want to know what you look like to the world, don’t look in a mirror, have a child draw you.
Everytime someone says "Expect the unexpected" I like to punch them in the face and say "not as easy as it sounds, now is it?"
Just had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up, I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clock is broken and I`m wide awake. Not sure who won.
I`m confused by this "It`s 5 o`clock somewhere" statement. Bars open at 11. Idiots.
If your online dating profile says "I don`t have sex on the first date" then that`s why you`re on a dating website.
I once dated a Rockette with Tourette`s. Talk about kicking and screaming!
Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships,I`m left wondering. . .Is it my wife or my girlfriend that`s cheating?
Due to political correctness issues, "Krazy Glue" will now be known as "Mental Disorder Glue."