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I would like to discuss tennis but I wouldn`t want to cause a racket
Hey, Dude who flips me off for honking at him in the parking lot, your groceries are on top of your car.
I`m not much on seizing the day, I just kinda poke it with a stick.
If you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a videocamera you can usually film like 3 or 4 births before they throw you out.
Some people should be very grateful I don`t have mob connections.
Should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind, should all acquaintance be forgot and somebody refill my wine.
There really should be awards for getting out of bed.
If everything goes as planned, tonight I shall drink myself beautiful.
I’m thinking of leaving my body to science. Even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
“People will believe anything if you whisper it.”
thumbs up if you pee on the side of the toilet to make it quiet.
24 hours in a day.. 24 beers in a case.. coincidence?
The general rule is that you shouldn`t ride an elevator during a fire, but I mean, talk about a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for — in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
One thing the porn industry has taught me is that this summer I defiantly need to get a job as a poolboy.