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Life was much simpler when we could play a friendly game of Red Rover and just clothesline the people we didn’t like.
30 years later and my Cabbage Patch Kid still has no clue that he`s adopted.
Seems like everyone is either trying to pretend they have the life they want, or escape the life they have.
Whenever I see people doing sign language, I assume they are discussing the best way to murder the rest of us and steal our ears.
Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
Pumpkin for sale. Slightly used
Always be yourself, unless you suck…and if you suck you should try being more like me.
does anyone know if smurfs are gluten free
Never underestimate the power of a hug. Or a slap upside the head. Whatever works.
Ever met a boring and stable girl who was good in bed? Exactly.
If your friends can accurately guess your age, you need to find dumber friends.
I`ve come to the sad realization nobody will ever triumphantly pour Gatorade on me for any reason
My head has that drunk on cheap alcohol feel without me getting to actually drink the alcohol :(
Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait
I`m returning these Gushers. They taste like sh!t. "Sir. Those are paintballs." Oh. I`m returning these paintballs. Someone ate a few.