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FYI : My post aren`t directed at anyone in particular...so should anyone be offended by them, I say if the shoe fits ... Wear It!!!!!
It`s not so much that I wanted to drink the whole bottle of wine, I just couldn`t figure out how to get the cork back in it.
I party like a Rockstar. A very poor Rockstar who isn`t in a band anymore.
Boss: You`re on another break already? Me: No. This is the same one you saw me on an hour ago.
Good judgement comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgement
Sometimes when someone appears to be hailing a cab, I go up and high five their hand because you can never be too sure.
North West? Im confused i thought Kim Kardashian gave birth to a child not a compass
Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other,it`s given me another reason to stare.
Apparently, "Step up your game" isn`t the correct response when your neighbour brings over fresh cookies, and your wife asks how they are.
My neighbors listen to some amazing music… whether they like it or not. ;)
Keep honking. I´m reloading.
Don’t expect a “bless you” after the 4th sneeze…get your self together
If McDonald´s sold hot dogs, could u, with a straight face, order a McWeiner & tell them 2 super size it?
Being all talk and no action sounds relaxing.
I organized a threesome last night....there were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time