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Well kids, texting wasn`t always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You had to click that 7 button FOUR TIMES.
I`d rather be in a relationship where no one wears the pants.
someone told me I am immature and need to grow up ... so guess who is not allowed in my snow fort!!!
I don`t hit the "Like" button on my own statuses because I am self-centered, it`s just that I amaze myself sometimes and I want to show my appreciation!!!!!!
I was sad, because I had no shoes. Until I met a man that had no feet. So, I took his shoes, cuz hey, he wan`t using them anyway!
The best way to grill a chicken is to whack it with a rubber hose before you ask why it crossed the road..
The iPhone 6 looks pretty cool, but it still lets people leave voicemails, so they apparently haven`t worked out all the bugs yet.
I don`t know why people say "your guess is as good as mine"? ..because my guesses are always better. ;)
Each day is a gift, but some days are socks and underwear
Christmas is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self centered lives already in progress.
Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
All my dance moves look like i`m trying to tell the guy on first base to steal second
Now if you’ll excuse me, tonight’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.
Just once, I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where the female is like, "Aww, f*ck..."
If my grandmother were alive today, I`m pretty sure she`d still have her blinker on.