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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and ten million dollars.
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics...So glad I found you all.
Getting out of bed feels like the worst thing that’s ever happened to me ... every time it happens.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
life is like a bed of roses just got to whatch out for the pricks
The key to successful relationships is not to start any.
I never owned a telescope, but it`s something that I`m thinking of looking into.
Tupperware: When you want to throw out your food some other day.
My daughter exclaims "Cheers!" before she takes a drink of juice. So no, actually, I am NOT looking forward to parent - teacher conferences.
Sometime you have to hand it to short people ... because they can`t reach.
Driving to work would be so much better if I didn’t always end up at work.
It`s all fun and games...unless there`s cookies, then it`s serious
I was pretty disappointed when my boss said we can`t do throw-back Thursday, or bring tequila shots to work
Vodka can be mixed with anything, including more vodka.
It`s always fun to act like you don`t see the person running to catch the elevator your in just as the door starts closing.