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You guys make Facebook worth it! Just kidding, we are all wasting our lives.
"Rear facing, pedal activated photon cannon" sounds much more badass than "brake lights"
I`d watch NASCAR if Hot Wheels designed the tracks.
A poem about me: I hate mornings. I wish I was drunk. The End.
I tried being modest once, as expected I was amazing at it.
You can´t trust dogs to watch your food.
My door bell is a recording of a shotgun being racked.
The NFL has hired their first female referee ... She will be throwing flags for penalties the teams committed 5 years ago.
Donuts: An excuse to eat cake for breakfast.
Apparently, "Giant ones" is not the appropriate response to the question, "What are the steps you would take in the event of an emergency?"
I`m not anti-social I`m just pro leave me the f*ck alone.
I live in a small town where the population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregant a guy leaves town.
Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is go to bed.
If you ring my door bell you better be the pizza guy or a sexy naked lady ... with a pizza.
Facebook is like a fridge full of old food you know what is in your fridge but still you go and check if it changed.