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I`m now fit to make my regular annual resolution. The accomplishment is the problem
My RSVP : I`ll be attending your wedding alone but consuming enough cake and alcohol for at least two.
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I`m totally flexible.
Sometimes I order fajitas at a restaurant just to get more attention.
Woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on my face....damn kids and thier sharpies.
I’ve already decided, if I ever go to The Price Is Right, I’m gonna “come on down” whether they call my name or not.
You`re single? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Yea me too.
Pork is awesome, but it`s best when used as a verb.
"My name will live forever!" - Anonymous.
How come dogs aren’t ticklish?
It`s always quiet on here at the weekends, it`s like you people have lives or something...
I wish I could get excited as a redneck drinking cheap beer and watching cars go around in circles for hours.
I was just watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury.. No worries, I should be okay in a couple of days..
Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud
Sorry, Sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours