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Good thing girls started uploading pictures next to a pool with the caption "Summer is finally here!" or we wouldn`t have known it`s summer.
I laid awake all night again worrying about why I’m always so tired.
I know you think you´re interesting because you have an accent. But a drunken slur is not an accent.
For once I`d like to see "It`s been a crappy year, mainly cause your were part of it"
I`ll bet other dogs must think that poodles belong to some weird religious cult.
Man, that .01% of germs that can´t be killed by hand sanitizer must be some bad a$$ sh!t
How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?
I read somewhere that we only use 10% of our brains. I wonder what the other half is for?
I will be responsible for my actions....when my actions become more responsible.
So far,,, I`ve spent 300% of this week exaggerating.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
Word for today: Dipshidiot
Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud
"You`re going to love my friend. He`s hilarious." is still the best way to know you`re about to meet an annoying person.
I was named after my father. I don`t really like the name "Dad" though.