Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
PMS is no joke, you guys. I just ate like three bags of Reese`s Pieces. Oh, and my wife`s really being a bitch.
What is the difference between a trapeze artist and a supermodel?. The trapeze artist has a cunning stunt.
Somebody is out there, somewhere, thinking of the impact you`ve made in their life. It`s not me. I think your an idiot.
I feel sorry for historians, they have such a hard time letting go of the past.
It`s amazing how many people are diagnosed with a disease as soon as there`s a pill available for it.
Sometimes, I wonder if the weather app on my phone even looks outside.
I`m not saying my doctor is young, but he just texted me "2mer is B-9, woot!"
Don’t waste electricity. How would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
Any woman can make you a Millionaire.. You only have to be a Billionaire first.
Think about how much more stressful life’s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
Apparently, "Giant ones" is not the appropriate response to the question, "What are the steps you would take in the event of an emergency?"
You`re one of a kind! Thank goodness...
If I make you breakfast in bed. A simple `Thank you.` is all I need! Not all this `How did you get in my house?` business!
I swear Hollisters electricity bill must be like $1 a month..
It`s nice to feel wanted. Even if it`s by the FBI.