Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I made a chicken salad today... The little bastard didn`t even eat it.
Kiss her in the middle of her sentence so you don`t have to hear what she`s talking about.
Be friend with stupid people.., feel like genius all the time
If I had a time machine I`d set it to "back in the day", just to see what everyone is talking about.
Whenever I start to hate my job I think about the camera crew who has to follow the Kardashian’s 24/7.
It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong...
Sometimes it’s just easier to eat the last slice of pizza than fit the box in the fridge.
But what if bygones want to be something else? ;)
If the shoe fits, wear it. Unless they`re not yours. But you can still were them. It`s just a road test, after all.
I think, therefore i`m single.
According to my current parking spot, I`m Chief of Police.
Using Romeo & Juliet to express how in love you are is like using Hamlet to show how close and well adjusted your family life is.
I don`t mean to brag, but my posts are enjoyed by well over 20 people worldwide...
Pokémon means a totally different thing if you`re stuck in prison.
All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.