Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I think there’s finally enough stuff in my kitchen junk drawer to build a spaceship.
I am so thankful for all the people that aren`t in my life.
Amazon’s recommendations are like that friend who heard you say “ninja” once and then got you ninja stuff for your birthday every year for twenty years
You know you’re awesome when you know you’re awesome.
Sometimes, I wish I could fast forward the time just to see if in the end it`s all worth it.
You’re not in a serious relationship until he leaves you in a room alone with his phone.
My wife sure is picky for someone who married me.
Most meteorologists are men. That`s why when they say we`re going to get 6-8" of snow, we only get 2 or 3.
"This isn`t my first rodeo" -Guy at his second rodeo
I`m opening a bar called The Office. You`re welcome guys. "Be home soon sweetie, I`m at The Office"
Kinda like Facebook, I wish I could ‘hide’ people in real life.
Never run after a man or a bus, there is always another one coming.
It`s not my official job but basically all I do is piss people off.
"Huh?" (my thought for the day)
So red or white wine with hamburger helper?