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If suppositories were just a bit smaller, they would be a whole lot easier to swallow...........................
Seriously, how can it be considered stealing when my neighbor’s WiFi signal was trespassing in MY house? I’m the victim here!!
Say what you will about women but I think being able to turn one sentence into a six hour argument takes talent.
Im not sure Im comfortable with the fact that there is now a bunch of people in white coats furiously scribbling notes behind a big glass window while im talking to my therapist. Im suppose to just "ignore" them.
When my kids grow up, I`m going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say I`m bored & then just leave!
Getting to places would be so much easier if I had a helicopter.
If you attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt it would be a waist of time.
The guy who invented, "Take Your Child To Work Day," probably forgot to drop his kid off at school on his way to work..
Might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery, the odds are about the same
I have no idea how I use to get around in the dark before I had a cell phone.
I`d like to thanks all the girls for wearing yoga pants. It is the only reason why we`re not complaining about how cold this winter it
If the breakfast club took place now, all those kids would just be silently texting about their sh!tty Saturday & never make friends w/ each other.
can´t find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?
Cologne - because people shouldn`t have a choice whether or not they want to smell you.
in wine there is wisdom. in beer there is freedom. in water there is... umm bacteria