Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can stop lifting weights now; it’s actually your personality that nobody likes.
Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
It`s okay, Web MD. I don`t really know what`s wrong with me either.
Was born with a rare condition called "Amazing"
How to break up with someone: You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: Which one? You: ME. You: BYEEEE
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Pokey, but I’ve turned myself around.
Spoiler alert: I unplugged your fridge.
My personality is 30% the last movie I watched.
One thing I`ll never understand is alcohol free wine
On your deathbed tell everyone "pray for me" then make sure to leave a note to be opened after you die that says "pray harder next time."
I hate it when I’m singing along to a song, and the artist gets it wrong.
75% of men kiss their wives good bye when leaving the house. 100% kiss their house good bye when leaving their wives.
So Stevie Wonder is going to become father to triplets next year. I guess he didn`t see that coming...
Rump roast is called rump roast because nobody would eat it if it was called cow`s ass
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!