Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hooters should start a home delivery service and call it Knockers.
This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she`s never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf.
As the day goes on, coworkers start appearing more flammable.
If I’ve learned anything in my twenty-two years on this earth, it’s that it’s okay to lie about your age.
I hate it when you`re buying stuff off the Internet and the bank calls to check to see if your card has been stolen. Sure, it seems nice, but then you have to explain to lady on the phone that no, it was not stolen, you really are the one who bought a subscription to bustyblondes.com
Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply chapstick.
Why do people always feel safe under blankets...its not like a murderer will break in and be like "I`M GONNA KILL YAA__AAHHHhhhh dang he is under a blanket.
"We attack at dawn!" - Hangovers
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a Pilot...but apparently I was too young.
Money went much further in the 1980s when you could peel the price stickers off milk cartons and stick them on anything you needed
I`m surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I`ve dropped and shattered my phone
Bran flakes. Helping pants fit better for over 100 years.
I want to delete a bunch statuses, so if you guys could just message me your passwords that`d be great.
Sometimes, I`m offended at how easily offended some people get.
I dream about naps.