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Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
Don`t judge. Maybe I`m conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don`t know.
A cool thing about being in a relationship is that when you make a mistake you get to hear about it over and over.
Smiling gives you wrinkles. Resting bitch face keeps you pretty.
B!tch life isn`t a garden ... So stop being a hoe!
Morning comes in 3 sizes: 1) Early. 2) Too early. 3) Way too early
More people should be at a loss for words.
I am not saying you are stupid, because I thought you already knew
Did you know you can go to any gym without having to announce it on Facebook?
I don`t get women. Also, I don`t understand them.
I have no time or patience for games in my relationships. Unless by “games” you’re referring to naked Twister. I can make time for that.
If flying is really so safe, then why is it called the `terminal`?
I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.
My dance moves are somewhere between “dog being shocked by an electric fence” and “squirrel crossing the road.”