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One man`s trash is another man`s profile picture.
I wish I would of asked if she believed in sex after marriage
Whoever is in charge of making sure I don´t do dumb stuff is fired.
honestly I`ve never seen a tombstone that read "died from not forwarding a text to 10 people"
I always advise people never to give advice.
is in that awkward phase of the day between never drinking again and noon.
If its true we`re here to help others, then what exaclty are the others here for?
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
I bet it’s called Almond Milk, because no one would buy Nut Juice.
I need medical attention, but I will settle for just regular attention.
I`m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
My motto is "Never say never." Which makes it difficult to tell people my motto...
No one understands you better than some crazy weirdos on the internet.
My life coach just informed me that I didnt make the team
My favorite thing to do on Facebook is to get in a long conversation with someone and then delete all my comments so they look crazy.