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Playing Frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to just running after a Frisbee.
"IT`S A BOY" I shouted, tears rolling down my face "I DON`T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!" It was at that moment I chose never to visit Thailand again.
I just don`t want to look back and think "I could`ve eaten that"
Before I die I`m going to eat a bag of popcorn kernels. My cremation should be spectacular.
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. 1. I don`t have a girlfriend.
so apparently there is no such thing as a St Patrick`s Santa and I`m not sure whose lap I just sat on at the mall.
It`s not that people use only 10% of their brains, it`s that only 10% of people use their brains.
Apparently members of the Westboro Baptist Church were outside a theater when the marquee gave way and came crashing down injuring several of them amidst their protest. Witnesses overhead many of the members muttering to themselves, "It must be a sign."
How many Snickers are an acceptable meal replacement?
Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Wait… Regular or Asian?
The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.
I run a non-profit company. It`s not for a good cause or anything, I`m just not very good at business.
My head has that drunk on cheap alcohol feel without me getting to actually drink the alcohol :(
I get very competitive at "All You Can Eat Buffets."
I love in horror movies how the person yells out "hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "yeah I´m in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"